It's the End of the World As We Know It... And I'm Too Poor

Earthquakes, Tsunamis, Terrorism, the Mayan Calendar!  I'm obsessed with the world's newest hot topic... The End of Days.  And, apparently I'm not alone.  I often think about what I would do if the shit went down.  Sure, I can get an emergency preparedness kit, but that's just going to prolong my inevitable doom.  I mean...what's a 5 gallon bucket to poop in gonna do for me if it's the end?

Then I found it.  The company that promises luxury living in an apocalyptic society.  YES!  Vivos Doomsday Bunkers.  Said to withstand any disaster.  I thought, "This is it.  We're saved!"...until...I saw the price.  $50,000 per person.  Whah, whah!  Whose got $50,000 to spend on a what if?  I'll tell you who...the rich.  It's no longer survival of the fittest, but survival of the richest.  And again the poor are screwed.  I guess the post-apocalyptic society will include the likes of Donald Trump, Justin Bieber and the Kardashians.  On second thought, I choose death.